Whether youโre at a networking event, a party, a conference, or an office function, walking up to a stranger and introducing yourself can be terrifying.
And while you might be strategic about your in-person opening lines, it’s important to apply the same level of thought to your online communications โ especially with your sales emails.
Check out what sentences to avoid to get more responses and make a great first impression.
The 10 Worst Ways to Start a Sales Email in 2022
1. “Can I ask a favor…?”
This opening is a big no-no โ especially when you’re reaching out for the first time. This sends a clear message to the recipient that you’re only looking after your own interests. And in sales, you’re supposed to solve problems for your prospect, not the other way around.
Instead, try a different angle. For example, take a genuine curiosity in the prospect and ask a thoughtful question, or briefly explain the problem youโre hoping to solve with their assistance. You could say something along the lines of, โIโm reaching out about…โ
2. “To whom it may concern…”
Although this is a professional salutation, it’s also impersonal and cold. On top of that, it can send the wrong message.
For example, the prospect might assume that you didn’t bother to research their name โ and if you didn’t research that, you probably didn’t do homework on their company, either. And who wants to work with a rep who knows nothing about them?
In 2022, email personalization is key. In fact, it’s no longer a nice-to-have, but a necessity. 71% of consumers expect companies to offer personalized communication.
3. โCongrats onโฆโ
A trigger event โ a relevant, recent occurrence that creates an opening for a sales opportunity โ is a fantastic reason to contact a prospect and offer your help, with a catch.
Starting your email with a vague or generic โCongratulationsโ is a huge misstep, according to Anand Sanwal, CEO of CB Insights.
โThis is a hollow, lazy opening,โ he says. โWhile I like being congratulated on things as much as the next guy or gal, this screams โform letter.โโ
To make it clear youโre not spraying and praying, get specific โ really specific โ with your congratulations.
For example, instead of โCongratulations on getting funded,โ you could write, โJust read that you raised $1.5 million in Series A โ congratulations! Your plans for growth sound exciting, especially an expansion into the Midwest market.โ
Bonus: That gives you the perfect segue into your next line: โUsually, when companies move into new territories, they need to get boots on the ground as soon as possibleโฆโ
4. “I know you’re busy…”
It’s always important to respect your prospect’s time. That said, buffering your emails with “I know your busy…” or, “Sorry to bother you…” implies that your email isn’t important or much of a priority.
If you believe in your productโs value, and youโve done some basic homework to ensure your prospect is a potential fit, then youโre not wasting their time. Youโre helping them.
5. โDid you knowโฆ?โ
Some reps attempt to create urgency by starting their emails with a rhetorical question, such as, โDid you know most U.S. workers have an average of 199 unread emails in their inbox?โ (Yup, thatโs a true stat.)
I have bad news for anyone who believes prospects will read this line and think, “No, I did not know that. Wow, I better drop everything and work with this salesperson!”
The typical reaction is usually closer to: “Ugh, if I wanted cheesy selling, Iโd go watch an infomercial. Delete.”
You can definitely use intriguing stats to instill a sense of urgency, but dropping them out of the blue wonโt get you a response. If youโre going to start with a stat, make sure that you personalize it to the prospectโs unique situation and weave it into your email naturally, like so:
- “Email marketers like yourself usually struggle to improve their open rates. After all, the average consumer has 300% more unread emails in their inbox than four years ago.
- “In the past year, I helped two other companies in autocare increase their email open rates by an average of 20%โฆ”
6. โMy name isโฆโ
Names are one of the hardest things to remember โ because, letโs be honest, people arenโt that interested in them. That means starting emails with, โMy name is Aja Frost, and Iโm an account executive for Zone,โ will send my recipients straight to snoozeville.
Plus, itโs easy for prospects to figure out your name if they want to. All they have to do is look at the “From” field or email signature.
Luckily, fixing this mistake is easy: Just cut this sentence from your message so it now begins with the second sentence. Your recipient will appreciate how quickly you get to the point.
7. “[Excessive small talk]”
This isn’t to suggest that small talk is inherently bad. Instead, it’s a reminder to strike a balance between being friendly and getting to the point.
Dive right into your message. If you need to add details, they should come later.ย Not only will you save precious space, but you’ll also have a far better shot of catching your prospect’s attention.
8. โIโve been thinkingโฆโ
Your closest friends care about what youโve been thinking. Your prospects? Not so much. So rather than starting off with โIโve been thinkingโ โ and immediately coming across as self-interested โ simply invert the statement.
Okay: “Iโve been thinking about your recent acquisition of Darby Apparel, andโฆ”
Better: “Your acquisition of Darby Apparel on Friday got me thinkingโฆ”
The second approach feels much less self-serving, simply because it starts by referencing the prospect (โYourโ) rather than the rep (โIโveโ).
In fact, you should never begin an email by talking about yourself โ sales emails should be about prospects. If you find yourself saying โI,โ use this inversion trick.
Letโs say you wrote, โIโm also a member of the Dallas Entrepreneurs group on LinkedIn, and I saw you posted a question about Google AdWords.โย Flip this sentence so it reads: โYou posted a great question about Google AdWords in the Dallas Entrepreneurs group on LinkedIn last week.โ
Now the focus is firmly on the prospect.
9. โI work forโฆโ
Launching into your message with โI work for so-and-soโ is even worse than starting with your name. Not only is it boring and unoriginal, but itโs like planting a huge sign in the prospectโs brain that says, โIโm trying to sell you something!!!โ
Telling the prospect which organization you represent can be useful; for instance, if the company is well-known, or if youโve met the buyer before and this detail will help jog their memory. However, youโll want to weave your companyโs name in naturally.
To give you an idea of what โnaturallyโ looks like, you might write:
Hi Randle,
Dale Harding recommended we get in touch. I work with Dale on HubSpotโs salesย productsย team.
Thatโs actually why I wanted to reach out โ he mentioned you were adding some reps to your team, and I thought our CRM might be a great fit for you. Itโs 100% free and really easy to use.
How do you normally handle onboarding a large group of reps at one time? I might be able to share some pointers.
Best,
Billy
This HubSpot mention feels natural because the recipient knows an employee who works there โ so if your prospect has a connection to a coworker, feel free to drop your companyโs name.
You can also swap out โweโ for โthe [company] team;”ย for instance, โIn the past year, the HubSpot team has partnered withโฆโ
Oh, and if youโre sending along content from your company? Just insert the name into the description like so: โIโm linking to a HubSpot blog post on CRMs you may find helpfulโฆ”
10. “Did you find what you were looking for?”
Sales reps sometimes use this line to follow up with inbound leads who downloaded a piece of content, watched a video, or visited a site page.
The good thing about this line is that it’s timely. You’re reaching the buyerย right at the moment they’d like to be contacted by Sales.
The bad thing about this line is that it’s vague and confusing. What does “find what you’re looking for” mean, anyway?
Get specific so your buyer knows exactly which opportunity or pain point you’re referring to.
Here are some sample lines:
- “Did our pricing page have all the details you need?”
- “Do you feel ready to start a Facebook ad campaign after watching our training video?”
- “Can I answer any questions about the feedback our job description analyzer gave you?”
The more granular you get, the easier it will be to kick off a productive conversation.
Forging a good first impression with a new prospect can be tricky โ but with these openers out of the way, youโll have a better shot. Sometimes, what you donโt say matters as much as what you do.